About

Yvonne Unger

I could tell you that I was born in the late 70s in a small Swabian town that made it easy for me to go out into the world. I could tell you that I haven’t had my own household for a long time, about my time as a digital nomad and my travels around the world.

I could tell you that I dedicated an entire study to my love of films and that I juggled with words as an editor. Or that I stood on movie sets in the pouring rain to look after the actors’ well-being. About how my life as an employee was short-lived and how I turned night into day for 15 years as a freelance web designer.

I could tell you about dancing with shamans and meditating with Daoists. That in order to understand my own chaos, I did further training in systemic counseling and spiritual nonviolent communication. That I was able to experience deep forgiveness through A Course in Miracles. That I enjoy leading Dyad meditations.

I could fill page after page with the stories that life has written. But as crazy as it may sound to you: None of it has any meaning for me.

The only story that has ever interested me is this one:

  • 1

    An existential NO!

    As far back as I can remember, the basic energy with which I came into this world, coule be labeled as huge defiant resistance. The world seemed like a strange, not very welcoming place to me. I didn’t understand the people around me.

    What didn’t make it any better was that I was born with the gift of recognizing the bullsh*t we tell ourselves and make ourselves believe. When I came into this world, I had no idea that this gift was not very welcome.

    Moreover, this gift was still as raw as an uncut diamond. Without being asked about it, I threw sentence after sentence into people’s faces. I didn’t understand why my advice was not gratefully received.

    What I did learn, however, was that it was safer to hide this gift. And so I did.

  • 2

    Attempts at self-rescue

    Cut off from my own power and still confused by this world, I fled into the world of knowledge. Book after book in search of the answer to what this is all about and how I could possibly cope with all of it. But it didn’t help. Attending various self-awareness seminars, meeting healers, shamans and channel mediums didn’t bring any peace either.

    In the meantime, my resistance had been joined by a good dose of arrogance. Together, they were my bulwark against life. After all, I was the one who knew that life here was a hell of a lot of bullsh*t. (What a crazy self-deception!)

    After several bouts of depression, therapies, attempts to lead a “normal” life and an intense engagement with the most final of all ways out, suicide, I finally gave up.

  • 3

    Radical Surrender

    Exhausted by life, I “gave in” or in other words: I surrendered to life. I was too depleted and too hopeless to continue pretending that anything could be saved here. This mood of “It doesn’t matter now anyway…” was the crack in the door through which the light could enter. In the radical surrender, the full declaration of bankruptcy, the failure of all my attempts, my healing began.

    My heart opened up, even to the trivial human experience. Also for all the bullsh*t that had accumulated over the course of my life. I realized that my humanity does not detract from the light. Quite the opposite. What a liberation from my own demands on a spiritual life!

  • 4

    Bullsh*t with love

    With the certainty that the truth is always true, I was able to let all the old wounds, repressed feelings and unconscious beliefs surface. Since then, layer by layer, my ideas of myself and the world has been dissolving. Not by running away from them as before, but facing them directly. In the embrace of all that is, healing took place. I realized that I can’t do anything wrong. Love can withstand all of this. And so can I. Because I am love.

    And with this look of love at myself, my gift finally emerged again – purified and inspired by love, anchored in the knowledge that everything is good because it is.

  • 5

    Always sunshine and lollipops?

    At this point, it would be totally cool if I could tell you that I’ve been floating on cloud nine ever since. But no – it’s not like that.

    I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I’m happy when I get up in the morning, other times I’d rather pull the covers over my head. I still love being alone.

    But I’ve made my peace with the experience of being a temporary human on this earth. Yes, this is perfectly ok.